I made a TikTok about how Distracted Boyfriend compares to other memes that center around “choosing.” I glossed over a few of the big ones — Drakeposting, the Brittany Broski one (whom I called “the girl doing the Drake faces,” a decision I regret because her fans came at me in the comments but were nice about it after I apologized) and Left Exit 12 Ramp.
People in the comments raised some great points and brought up stuff I hadn’t even considered. The argument I tried to make in the video was about how all these meme formats are basically the same thing (agent chooses between thing A and thing B) but each one colors that choice differently. I want to go more in depth here, across this two-part post — what ties together “choosing memes” as a genre, and what distinguishes them from each other? This first part is a reading of the different meme formats, trying to determine the traits of “choosing memes” and the principal concerns of the genre. The second part is an analysis of what we talk about when we talk about “genre,” and what that means when applied to memes.
What ties them together
I propose this definition for the genre: “Choosing memes” have three figures in them: an agent, choice A, and choice B. These figures are pictured as roles in a metaphorical situation and the maker of the meme fills them in with figures from another context.
The stable part of the meme (the repeated image, in this case) is the vehicle of the metaphor (what you’re using to describe another thing) while the part which a user changes is the tenor (what you’re describing) In the Distracted Boyfriend (DBF) meme below, they’re kind of saying “the situation between the youth, capitalism, and socialism (tenor) is like the situation between these three people (vehicle).” I’ll confine myself to image macros because so much changes once you get into video.
The group of “choosing memes” I’m focusing on (which is not all of them) are Drakeposting (2016), Distracted Boyfriend (2017), Left Exit 12 Ramp (2017), Brittany Broski / Kombucha Girl (2019). My source for the chronology is Know Your Meme, and I’m assigning these dates based on time of viral use as a “choosing meme,” not the origin of the image. There are more recent and more ancient “choosing memes” — it’s an eternal theme — but part of why I chose this set was because they’re all popular around the same time.
What distinguishes them from each other
In my video, commenters were interested in comparing A) Distracted Boyfriend to Left Exit 12 Ramp, and B) Drakeposting to Kombucha Girl/Brittany Broski. These contrasting pairs are logical: DBF and LE12 are both Object-Labelling memes while Drakeposting and KGBB are Reaction Images.
DBF vs. LE12
DBF and LE12 are very similar, as this example demonstrates:
But there are key differences. In my comments, Steel pointed out, “The road doesn’t care that you took an off-ramp. But the girlfriend does.” Anna Paradis Moreno agreed, writing “whatever the gf is representing is conscious of the fact its being left and is indignant. the highway doesn’t care that you’re exiting,” and RaccoonMagic added, “girlfriend also lends personification (betrayal, anger, disbelief) to the object she’s intended to represent”
In LE12, the relationship between the agent and the choices is one-way: the only thing that will change because of the decision is the agent. But in DBF, the Boyfriend’s decision between two choices is a decision that would change things for at least choice A (the girlfriend). So if you put Capitalism, Socialism, and the Youth in the LE12 meme, you’re implying a different relation to capitalism than if those three are in DBF.
Tam wrote, “…the exit is real/attainable even if difficult but red dress isn’t necessarily even possible,” a nuance of Distracted Boyfriend which LE12 also lacks. violet creme wrote, “the choice in Distracted Boyfriend has not yet been made, it’s usually more about temptation where the hard exit choice has already been made,” and SpaceVinci said, “Boyfriend meme is less rash decision and more temptation, whether good or bad”
LE12 indicates both a rashness and a definitiveness which Distracted Boyfriend doesn’t. But I wouldn’t go so far as to say DBF is only a picture of temptation, not of choice. I think the relevant choice in Distracted Boyfriend is his choice to look in the first place. The girlfriend definitely interprets his looking that way — as a choice she’s going to criticize him for. And I view looking as an action. He can’t decide to get with her, but he can decide to look at her.
Drakeposting vs. BBKG
“excuse me,” commented Experiment_2042440, “but Drake and Brittany memes are vastly different in meaning. Drake is against the obvious choice but goes for the option that at first sight shouldn’t be superior but is, and a lot of people would agree. While Brittany is against the first thing, but with a little tweak to the initial prompt she reconsiders and it’s actually a good option.” Yes, the emotional journey of the characters in these two memes is different. The Drakeposting meme shows a stronger emotional response: his rejection of choice A is absolute, and his later embrace of choice B full-hearted. The Broski memes are a bit less emotional: she’s mildly icked by choice A, but she’s willing to entertain choice B.
Drakeposting and Brittany Broski tend to center on choices which are objectively similar, but have some minor difference that has to do with subjective personal taste. This is tied to how they each center on faces: these are memes about personality, Reaction Images. DBF and LE12 are more often about choices between two things which are very different each other: these are landscapes, memes about situations, Object-Labeling formats. hannahexclamation commented, “the fact that the meme creator is inhabiting a character (bf) among other characters is an interesting distinction from kombucha girl / drake” — and I agree. Reaction image memes focus on a person’s insaneness, while object-labelling memes focus on relationships between things in the world (“among other characters”). There is also a different relationship to time: in both Drakeposting and BBKG, we see a before-and-after — but in the object-labelling ones, we only see a single moment but a broader space.
One other difference: in object-labelling memes, the user-generated tenor is almost always text; while in reaction images, the user-generated tenor is a picture just as often as it is a text. My favorite resource on this picture/image relationship in memes is this one by Barbara Dancygier and Lieven Vandelanotte, who are linguists. There’s also a great article by linguist Kate Scott about Distracted Boyfriend’s multimodality. I am not a linguist. As Miaya322 commented, “I knew you were some sort of rhetorical English major lmao"
But here’s the thing that really gets my goat about choosing memes: “there’s added nuance in the Drake one that usually, the rejection of Choice A is in some way unexpected,” writes a commented whose name I forgot (sorry!), ”Like cats SHOULD prefer bed but they just want the box it came in instead. or maybe inappropriate is a better word? contrary to the appropriate expected choice.”
These choice memes are interested in appropriateness, regardless of format. They’re about conversations between you and the judge in your head. Between the two choices, one is the thing you have to do, the other is what you know you want to do. One is what would make sense to other people, the other is what you want for yourself. One is “appropriate,” one is “inappropriate.”
Not every meme made using these choosing formats focuses on the question of “appropriateness,” but I think the memes that do focus on it are the best and most popular ones. They ask the question, “should I go against convention, or go with the flow?” This big choice is behind all of the specific choices in the memes. It’s a choice everybody deals with and the answer is always “it depends.” Situations are different, people are different — and you never stop asking Am I right or is “society” right? What do we even mean by “right”?
That’s why these memes are so powerful and popular.